Kochanski's Dare

Chapter one results are In!

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Kristine Kochanski moaned as she and the crew retired to their sleeping quarters aboard Starbug 1. "Hey, you know the rules.
You chose dare and said dare was a date with Arnie J, Old Iron Balls himself," Rimmer reminded her proudly.
"But it still doesn’t explain why I chose dare," Kochanski complained. "Look, you chose dare. I'll pick you up for our date tomorrow at 7pm," Rimmer told her.
"Great. Where are we going and what shall I wear?" Kochanski asked, feeling resigned and trying to sound enthusiastic about the whole thing.
There was a pause before she rolled her eyes. "You don’t know where we're going do you?" she asked with a sigh. "Just be ready for 7pm tomorrow. I bid you goodnight," Rimmer said hurriedly to cover up his embarrassment.
Kochanski watched him go Then Lister walked by. "Lister," she said. "Yeah?" Lister asked with a grin. "Please don’t make me do this. I'll forfeit- anything," she pleaded. Lister chuckled. "Sorry Kris, no can do. You had your chance to forfeit. Well I'm off, good luck for the date and I hope everything goes swimmingly for you two love birds," Lister told her before he too went to his bunk, leaving a furious Kochanski frowning In his wake.

Chapter two preparations

Rimmer hummed to himself eagerly the following night at 6:30pm As he got ready for his date with Kochanski.
"So where are you going to go with Kochanski tonight Tiger?" Lister asked Rimmer as he sipped his beer.
"I'm taking her to the finest restaurant this side of the galaxy," Rimmer told him. "Little Chef?" Lister guessed mockingly. Rimmer rolled his eyes as he put on his red jacket. "Of course not. We're going to that all you can eat restaurant on that market planet we passed last week," he told him.
"Sounds good. Good luck Rimmer. Just try not to bore her okay?" Lister said with a grin. "Listy One night with me and she'll be begging me to be with her. Just you watch," Rimmer said as he left a grinning Lister.

Chapter three surprise visitor

"And this one here is a utility pole from the late 20th Century," Rimmer said as he shows Kochanski his collection of telegraph poles photos later that evening as they sat In their booth at the all you can eat restaurant.
Kochanski was wearing a little black dress and sighed. She was so bored and kept wishing for the food to come quickly.
Just as Kochanski thought she was hopelessly stuck in Rimmer's company, a man came and stood next to her. She looked up then looked at the figure in shock. It was Rimmer, but not the Rimmer sitting opposite her. This Rimmer was totally different- a more handsome and good looking Rimmer.
"Well if it isn't my old pal Arnie. Put it there old chum," the new Rimmer said as he patted a scowling Rimmer on the shoulder. Rimmer sighed. Why couldn’t he ever get a break?
"Hello Ace. What're you doing here?" Rimmer asked through gritted teeth. "I was just In the area and decided to pop in for a snack. Then I saw you two enter. Arnie mate, aren't you going to introduce me to you’re attractive partner here?" Ace asked his counterpart.
Rimmer sighed. "Ace this is Kristine Kochanski. Kochanski this is Ace, my doppelgänger," he said. Kochanski found herself blushing as Ace kissed her hand.
"Of course you are Ms Kochanski. I take It you two are in a date. You're a lucky man Arnie. In which case I'm sorry for Interrupting. But have a good night," Ace said. Then Kochanski found herself wanting him to stay.
"Wait Ace, can I have a quick drink with you while I wait for the food with Rimmer?" She asked eagerly.
Ace grinned. "Sure thing. Don’t worry Arnie, I'll bring her back," he told Rimmer with a wink.
Rimmer folded his arms across his chest as he watched them go to the bar after Kochanski mouthed "sorry" to him.
But she was swept up under Ace's spell and he watched them enjoying a drink together.

Chapter four back on the bug

"So how'd It go?" Lister asked Rimmer later that evening. Lister was ready for bed and getting nicely drunk as he took a swig of beer. "Disaster," Rimmer said as he got dressed for bed. Rimmer wore his PJs as he sat on his bunk. "Oh? What happened?" Lister wanted to know.
Rimmer told him all about Ace. Lister winced. "Ouch," he said with a grin. "So Krissie had a good date after all then," he said. Rimmer rolled his eyes. "Yeah. At any rate I left her there with Ace as he said he could give her a ride home in his Firebird. Can you believe my luck? I got outshined by that moron," Rimmer said.
"You always have bad luck Rimmer. Tonight's nothing different," Lister pointed out. Just then the Starbug doors opened and both Lister and Rimmer could hear giggling and chuckling. Lister smiled and Rimmer groaned.
Then Kochanski and Ace appeared at their door. "There you go fellas," Ace announced merrily. "I bought her home as promised," he said before kissing Kochanski on the cheek. "Krissie, I bid you farewell. It's best I'm on my way now to another mission. Take care my dear and we'll catch up soon," he told her In parting. "Yes. I love you Ace," Kochanski gushed. "Of course you do gorgeous. See you soon," Ace told her and saluted Rimmer and Lister before leaving Starbug.
Kochanski grinned and turned to Rimmer. "Sorry about our date Rimmer, but I just couldn’t resist his charms," Kochanski said swooning as she thought of Ace. "Spare me the details," Rimmer told her. "Just go to bed," he added. "Fine, okay," Kochanski said with a wink at Lister, as she felt relieved the date went okay after all.
"For what it's worth Im sorry It didn’t work out between you guys," Lister told Rimmer after Kochanski left. "Well Listy we all know what luck I have in life. I'm cursed. On the note, Im going to bed," Rimmer said as he got comfortable.
"Night smeg head," Lister told him. "Night, smegger," Rimmer replied before they both went to sleep.

The end

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